Somewhere along the line of being a mother I got a bit lost, technically, I still do sometimes. I forget that I am more then just a mom, just a wife, just the person that lives here, that cooks, cleans, etc.. Somewhere along the line, I forget that I am still me, the Girl that listens to hard-cord music to relax. The Girl that loves to; paint, read, craft, watch 19th centaury movies. The girl that likes the comfort of being alone with music blasting in her ears. Having to manage different tasks is difficult, how do you switch from you to mom;
: To wife, to the clean up crew, that nurse, the referee, the teacher, the chef, the friend, the sister, the daughter, the niece, the cousin, the granddaughter, the student, the taxi driver, the cheerleader, the toy repair expert, potty trainer, play-date coordinator, manners tutor, seamstress, spiritual guidance, and so much more..
That’s a lot of titles, and that’s only a few.. So how do you Not, get lost in all of this?
Where are you suppose to have time for you to be You? Have time to eat the first-time warmed up plate, not the repeated warmed up plate. Have time to drink that coffee that’s nice and hot, and not the one you had to rewarm maybe twice if your lucky. And no , Not an Exaggeration. Have time to get your nails done, and I don’t mean that nail polish you bought 6 months ago and your applying it yourself late at night, because you finally put the kids to sleep. Have time to get a decent hair cut, and not the one you you-tubed and attempted in front of your bathroom mirror. There is so much more, but frankly I only have time for a brief summary of it.
So how do you juggle All this, and deal with Anxiety attacks? It’s easy for people to tell you, you need to make time for yourself, you need to just pray about it, you need to just breath.. Clearly I know, but it’s easier to say then do. I can plan something, and then replan, and etc. Life happens, I figured it’s easier to Not plan. How about I deal my day one at a time. swing as the curveballs come, figure it out as I go. It is less stressful this way, this way I don’t deal with disappointment, if I didn’t get to do something. This way I don’t get lost.
Sorry I don’t have an answer, for my own question. All I can say, that maybe, their nap time can be your time. Don’t stress over the cleaning and planning. Maybe you have to be a little selfish. And No, this does not make you a bad mother and etc. This makes you human, this makes You, You. So You don’t get lost, so You can have once in a blue-moon kind of day, to be You. All situations are different, it’s probably why I don’t have an answer for my own question, because no day is the same. But just remember , under all those titles, you are still You, the mother that is loved, the one your partner fell in love with. It’s ok if you don’t get to be You all the time, just don’t forget You are still their, and it needs a little sunshine once in a while.
-Note To Self