That moment when you had high hopes, and in less then a second it felt like something heavy and invisible drops on you. And a sense of a tightness in the chest , where one skips a heart beat, even a few breaths. An awkward feeling like little ants crawling through out ones body. Where ones mind shuts down and those words are repeated non stop. Where all sound, all voices, are muffled and not one word or sound can be distinguished. Where you move and feels like your floating, hoping it was just a dream, but knowing it’s reality.

Can I get home? So I can walk straight to my room. I want to remove my purse, my jacket, drop the keys, take off my shoes, then slide into my bed and pull the covers over my head. Why does my one simple goal seem so far, I didn’t expect it to be taking me this long. I didn’t expect it to be this hard. What was I thinking, what made me think I can take up something like that with 3 small kids. I am loosing my hair, my mind. Is this stress worth it? Will I reach the very end, and say “it was worth it”..? I know…. JUST BREATH..

-Note To Self

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