Worst thing to say is that it’s in my head and to not think about it.. I didn’t realize I sat there pondering of the upcoming episode of pain. I didn’t realize that I thought about it constantly, that it got ingraved in my mind. I didn’t realize that my pain was an inconvenience for you. Do I look weak now? Does somehow these affect you? Do you think that these anxiety attacks reflect you and how you are to me? Do you think you are to blame somehow? I didn’t realize that these scenes of mine were a reflection of you. I don’t think about them, or when the next one will be. I don’t sit around thinking of how overwhelming things can get. Or how painful the next will be.They just are, and yes I Know, I know I need to breath. I don’t need you to fix me, I need you to just accept it as is, the same way I have. Realize that it will happen with no actual cause or trigger.. What do you think I do?. What do you think of me?

-Note To Self

Anxiety attacks are painful to deal with, check out https://andnowmiguel.wordpress.com/

he talks about anxieties as well, get his perspective of this.

 

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4 thoughts on “I Didn’t Realize

  1. You are amazing, dear girl. Full of surprises. I don’t wish for your sense of obligation for the loan to take that route. Nonetheless commendable. I just meant from time to time, dear girl. Heartfelt thanks. I love what you are doing here. Dividing the introspection. Cool. Must be hard though. I don’t know, but it your mission. Umm?

    Like

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